As you can see, when we talk about "relating" we must ask "to what? But what if I hate my relatives? However, this is anything but straightforward! The aura of enmeshed Oneness from infancy tends to linger, making it hard to distinguish where "You" stop and "not-You" begins. Libra teaches us that we are both connected and separate beings, being both intimately attached to others and isolated as distinct individuals. In relationships, however, this is tricky ground; like echoes in a canyon, what we perceive in "The Other" may actually be a projection of ourselves. Libra marks the midpoint in our journey around the zodiac, peering at Aries from the opposite side.
We see it as if for the first time, from a whole new perspective. We see that cottage over there, which seemed so large close-up, which looks surprisingly small against the background of the looming hills. And we see that the road running next to the cottage, which up-close seemed to disappear into the woods, apparently runs way over to that store over there.
The sign of Libra represents this kind of objectivity, based on distance and separation. Everyone wants to be seen and appreciated for themselves, and through our Libra nature, we have the maximum vantage point to do this. Libra and Pisces are the two signs most prone to distorted or atypical perception. When we look out through our 7th House lens, we perceive what we believe is the other person, but often we project our own desires, needs, issues and agendas onto that person. In the same way, we tend to see in other people a combination of the real person and our own projections.
In Libra we must learn to navigate through this strange Hall of Mirrors and decipher which is the reflection and which is the real thing. Hence, the Libra person is usually very focused on other people, especially those with whom they find some form of harmony or balance. The baby smiles, the parent smiles and coos; the baby gurgles and makes sounds, the parent replies in baby-talk and encourages some simple words; the baby cries, the parent comforts and cuddles. A balance of similarities is achieved and all is right with the world. The Libra person seeks similarities with others through harmony, symmetry, diplomacy, balance, fairness, love and beauty.
Like a tuning fork that will cause a guitar string to vibrate when they are both tuned to the same pitch, we instinctively gravitate to people whose "vibes" we relate to. We "resonate" with each other. The tuning fork and guitar string will vibrate together regardless of which one initiates the sound.
In much the same way, we tend to take on the mood and attitude of those around us and in turn modify our surroundings by our own disposition. By mirroring our environment and being mirrored back, we connect to the world around us and learn the skill of give-and-take, ebb-and-flow. This balance is most pleasantly achieved through similarity, where both people share similar qualities.
This is a peaceful experience; a state of rest, harmony and love, wherein like attracts like. The second way is through polarization or complementary counter-balance. This is the attraction of opposites, in which dissimilarities fit together hand-in-glove to form a whole.
The Libra Woman: September 23 – October 22
Like magnets, we may be drawn to people who possess qualities that we believe we lack. They complement each other. However, differences between people that are not appreciated or assimilated tend to be perceived and experienced as repellent, and are typically met with attempts to change the other person. In order for a complementary effect to be reached, each person must honour, appreciate, and be open to the dissimilarities in the other person.
The mathematician must value the abilities of the cook and vice versa. Complementary balance needs to take place in an atmosphere of mutual respect and tolerance. Unfortunately, this can often be very difficult to achieve, and opposites between people will often rebuff and oppose rather than attract.
Balance, however, must and will be achieved in some form. Just as water seeks a stabilized level, even if that means flooding to relieve the excess pressure, all relationships reach a state of equilibrium and normalization, be it healthy or dysfunctional. For this reason, Libra people are known as both the "peace-makers" and the "war-makers," instigating conflict and confrontation just as quickly and easily as peace and harmony.
In either case, the motive is the achievement of balance. What we see in the other person may be something we feel we lack, or we may be drawn to them because they seem to agree with us. Regardless of our motive, what we are drawn to in the other person almost always lies in ourselves in some form. For example, we may feel an instant affinity for someone for no apparent reason "I once fell in love with a Pentium computer at first byte! We tend to believe that something in the other person is responsible for our feelings. Like Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection, we are fascinated by our own qualities that we see shining out of the eyes of The Other.
However, we may be unaware that we also have this trait. We project parts of ourselves onto others, thereby finding a way to learn, interact or wrestle with these qualities. The good news is that by doing this we have an opportunity to learn about that disowned planet by observing and interacting with this other person, who can ideally teach us something about that part of ourselves. The bad news is that by doing so, we also give away our power to choose how, when and why we will exercise and utilize that energy. Our access to that part of ourselves lies at the mercy of the other person, over whom we have no real control.
To one degree or another, that person is free to withhold that energy, inflict it on us, reward it to us, or take it in whatever direction they see fit. Or, we may unconsciously attempt to control the other person in order to regain control over our projected qualities, rather than taking ownership and therefore control back within us. Libra and its ruling planet, Venus, represents our ability to attract people and things to ourselves, regardless of whether we attract "positive" or "negative" experiences.
This is the magnetic energy of Venus , whom we met in the Taurus article. Magnets can make my hard disk go retrograde! The Taurus side of Venus attracts possessions, wealth and other valuable resources; the Libra side of Venus draws people into interactions, partnerships and one-to-one relationships. Whether our Venus is attracting people or things, the principle is the same: magnetic resonance.
During the upcoming Libra cycle, we all have the opportunity to hone our attraction and relating skills to a finer point.
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